Me too!
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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