Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
