11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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