I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
