tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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