Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
