SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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