erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
