they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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