just come out here and I will go home with you...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
