i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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