i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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