is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
