worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
