I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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