so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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