The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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