i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
