no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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