She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
