So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
