just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
