He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
