apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
