if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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