he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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