I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
