so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
