The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
