"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
