I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
