goodnight i made you a song goodbye
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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