I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
