yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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