Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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