i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
