The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
