Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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