it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
