Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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