we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
its liver damage thursday
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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