Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
