Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Non-Jews are for practice
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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