another moral hangover. fuck.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
