I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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