Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Please, let me fuck your mom
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
