she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
