im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
