i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
