the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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