Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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