Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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