you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
